[Tussling with a drunk guy is always a little harder than it seems, and Travis grits his teeth as he's grabbed. He's never been the yelling type, but it feels tempting to just go with it, shout about low blows and what's really bullshit, but––
He drags himself into some semblance of maturity, yanking himself from William's grip to sit back in his own seat, his expression an unrepentant scowl. Frustrated, but with his ~indoor~ voice:]
So fucking talk. You think I don't know how shit this is for everyone? How hard it is? But either I'm a shitty dad or someone's dead –– maybe them. Take your fuckin' pick.
[ William opens his mouth to object, quickly shuts it. Looking equal parts indignant and disquieted. He's not about to fix anyone's life with a single drunk conversation, but—this is the crux of things, isn't it? ]
How retired are you? [ He knows about Travis' life out in the woods, has the measure of his loneliness: knowing people only for the span of time it takes them to die. Not entirely unfamiliar.
[Travis shakes his head, and his answer comes easy.]
Retirement's a dream. You go back eventually or you're forced to. I did what I set out to do twice over, but you know, if some asshole went after Sylvia or the twins... shit, I'd go back.
[He gives a hard wave of his hand. With a particular screw to the side of his mouth, he thinks about how his death means no one has reason to go after his kids, but nah. He's not staying where he'll never live the life he wants.]
Did the file talk about Alice?
[Maybe not. They'd talked for thirty seconds before getting down to business, but if there's a mention...]
[ William watches him—listens watchfully, his reactions muted as Travis engages in a kind of blood-soaked accounting. ]
No. [ With an air of intense and futile concentration he shuts his eyes: the file, its neat lines of text, swimming in his mind's eye. Several seconds later his eyes blink open. ] Maybe. If it did, it didn't say much.
[Guess it can't have. Travis shifts in his seat, finally turning his head to really face William.]
We met for our match. She knew it was the end. She was sitting by a fire, burning photos. Then I went and had a look. [He'd been shaking in anger, and he feels a shiver of it now.] They were of her family. Her kids. The fight was all she had left. She didn't even tell me her name until it was almost over. She wanted someone to know she existed.
[He pauses, and then his voice grows insistent:]
Do you get it? Once you're in this life, it's all you're going to be left with.
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timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2022-06-10 06:05 pm (UTC)He drags himself into some semblance of maturity, yanking himself from William's grip to sit back in his own seat, his expression an unrepentant scowl. Frustrated, but with his ~indoor~ voice:]
So fucking talk. You think I don't know how shit this is for everyone? How hard it is? But either I'm a shitty dad or someone's dead –– maybe them. Take your fuckin' pick.
no subject
Date: 2022-06-14 06:36 pm (UTC)How retired are you? [ He knows about Travis' life out in the woods, has the measure of his loneliness: knowing people only for the span of time it takes them to die. Not entirely unfamiliar.
But what would it take for him to go back? ]
no subject
Date: 2022-06-14 08:31 pm (UTC)Retirement's a dream. You go back eventually or you're forced to. I did what I set out to do twice over, but you know, if some asshole went after Sylvia or the twins... shit, I'd go back.
[He gives a hard wave of his hand. With a particular screw to the side of his mouth, he thinks about how his death means no one has reason to go after his kids, but nah. He's not staying where he'll never live the life he wants.]
Did the file talk about Alice?
[Maybe not. They'd talked for thirty seconds before getting down to business, but if there's a mention...]
no subject
Date: 2022-06-16 12:59 am (UTC)No. [ With an air of intense and futile concentration he shuts his eyes: the file, its neat lines of text, swimming in his mind's eye. Several seconds later his eyes blink open. ] Maybe. If it did, it didn't say much.
no subject
Date: 2022-06-16 03:52 am (UTC)We met for our match. She knew it was the end. She was sitting by a fire, burning photos. Then I went and had a look. [He'd been shaking in anger, and he feels a shiver of it now.] They were of her family. Her kids. The fight was all she had left. She didn't even tell me her name until it was almost over. She wanted someone to know she existed.
[He pauses, and then his voice grows insistent:]
Do you get it? Once you're in this life, it's all you're going to be left with.